17 Hashers made up of 8 regulars, 2 returners, 2 visitors, 2 mysterious returners, an ankle biter and 2 hares (plus 2 large dogs and 3 guest cats) met in the beautiful countryside around Fontenilles for the legendary Burns Hash.
The hares welcomed us to Burns HQ with chilled ‘warm up refreshments’ before Short Shift introduced the trail under the watchful eye of the hashers and 2 guard dogs. Then we were let loose on a trail full of twists and turns, metal bridges, ditch jumps and bogs – only a Scot would think of setting a trail through brambles for those in a kilt!
The walkers were eternally grateful for the sole runner – John Cleese – who took one for the team by testing all possible trails at each check in full view in the open fields; how he got lost later and missed the beer stop we will never know.
Once refreshed from the mobile beer stop, we made our way back up the hill towards Burns HQ, being overtaken by a ‘not amused’ John Cleese who was angry we had drunk all his beer and settled on the terrace for the customary liquids and nibble replenishment. Not wanting to delay the food & to avoid the coming freezing temperatures, we got on with the circle.
Glory Hole returned to circle duties after a brief absence and got straight to work rewarding the hares not only for their excellent trail setting, but opening Burns HQ and its kitchen to offer a Burns Night to remember.
– Returners/visitors, Sweet Pea & IP, John Cleese and Horny Tail, were welcomed back and thanked for making the journey;
– Long time returners (or perhaps re-sown up virgins) Just Sarah & Just Pedro (accompanied by hound Just Kenny) were challenged on their 4-year absence (with no valid excuse given) and forced to swear that they will come back
– A stickler for the rules by Easy Rider, Glory Hole and others were brought into the circle to be punished for hats/headwear in the circle.
– Those that hadn’t made the effort to even attempt to follow the Scottish theme were punished in the circle, including, the actual person who specifically wrote the following in the original invite email “Furthermore, to ensure an appropriately Scottish atmosphere, tartan attire is strongly encouraged. Punishment for nonconformity will be dealt at the discretion of the GM holding the circle” – none other than Ticket to Ride herself. Ticket to Ride had to then remain in the circle as she had also failed to wear hash gear too
In the presence of Sweet Pea & IP, our hymn sheets are never needed as they delve into their mind palaces in search of appropriate (and usually inappropriate) hymns to fit the occasion. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the chance to write the lyrics down so next time we can bring the Dictaphone.
As cold began to bite, and I bored the circle members, who swiftly all disappeared, we had to rush through the final bits with the summary of January’s Mis-Management meeting being sped up and us totally missing the hare line review. We all rushed back into the toasty house warmed by the open fire and welcomed by freshly cooked haggis, chili (which warmed us in more than one way) and veggies. The group grabbed and filled their plates and an air of silence passed over the room as we all enjoyed the wonderful meal. John Cleese then passed around a home-made Mead-style liqueur that apparently the Vikings drank when they were conquering the world.
All in all, a wonderful afternoon and evening and we all thanks Short Shift & Hairy Shoes again for their hospitality and not forgetting the support of Nice Dish and the other hashers for their contributions including some wonderful homemade desserts.
